4 new ways of thinking about self pleasure that you can use and benefit from NOW

 I'm a big advocate of people engaging in solo self pleasure...you know...MASTURBATION (Gasp!)  I have found in my training, in the workshops I facilitate, and through coaching others, is that we can get into a cul-de-sac of habit with the way we pleasure ourselves, when it has the potential to be so much more deeply enriching!


Not that there's anything wrong with the "lightning maintenance wank".  I'm a fan!  How nice it is to have access to a practice where we get in, get off, and go on our merry way with a smile on our face and a spring in our step...our grey matter swimming in the nice little chemical soup that orgasms create.


Choosing different approaches to our solo pleasure practice, doing it with the intention of discovering more about ourselves in terms of what turns us on (or off!) can be quite transformative!


With that in mind, here are some concepts to consider, integrate, and keep in mind when pursuing pleasure solo.


Step Into Creativity - Consider giving yourself a longer window of time for self pleasure.   With that, integrate some self touch for the purpose of feeling pleasure with parts of your body that aren't your genitals.  For example, if you are used to your masturbation activities taking 5 minutes to achieve orgasm, create a time window of 15 or more minutes instead.  Spend time touching other parts of your body with your hands or other things that feel good, for a while, before going for The Big O.


Expand Your Capacity For Pleasure -  This is an extension of the creativity idea.   When you explore additional components of self pleasure that go beyond genital touch, you open yourself up to more possibilities, more pleasure, more learning about what delights you and feels good.


Overcome Shame - Many of us have varying degrees of shame around self pleasure.   There's programming we bring to the party around it being dirty or shameful,  and perhaps "selfish" or self-indulgent.   There's a lot more to unpack around shame when it comes to shame around masturbation, but that will be another blog post.


But I digress...When we explore self pleasure with creativity, an intention to expand our capacity for pleasure, the voices of shame get quieter as we notice what I call "the ripple effect".


The Ripple Effect - Being erotically creative with our solo practice, leveraging that creativity to expand possibilities, and overcoming shame has an impact on other areas of our life.  We can become happier people by virtue of the self confidence, embodiment, and leaning into the gratitude of "what is" with the hope for what "can be" that a more holistic self pleasure practice generates.   I don't know about you, but it seems like people I know who are authentically happy are more fun to be around, it rubs off on the people in their orbit, and positively impacts those relationships.   When you give to yourself this way, by extension, you are giving your presence to the people in your life from a place of increasing fulfillment and abundance.


Cheers, & have a wank-tastic day!


Would you like to learn more?  Check out Sex for One, by Betty Dodson